My Little Things in Life…

Its been another long duration of 2 months since my last blog. I can only use the following phrase on myself - sheer plain laziness but of course thinking back, it is not just the sheer plain laziness that kept me away from my blog. Its really my work schedule that kept me away. 

For a while, I was so engrossed in work that nothing else was the priority. Its an irony after all that hustle and bustle , and the hard work that I put in, I am still leaving at the end of the day. It makes me realise how ironic life is. Hard work doesn’t mean success… Sheer Plain Laziness doesn’t mean failure… I wonder if I should just change to become plain lazy. Maybe things will work out better that way.

Is it a blessing? Is it a misfortune? I dunno and no one can tell. Frens or Foe? Up to today, I cannot differentiate but I wish to think of it as a blessing, as an opportunity to realign my goals and directions in life, so whether frens or foe, does it matter??

Probably the most uncomfortable part of the whole matter is how to break the news to my family. On second thoughts, maybe its best to keep it a sacred secret for the rest of my life… Will this work?? I certainly hope it will.

Counting down should be a good feeling and as I start today, I will remind myself everyday that the sun shines with or without me…that everyday is a good day, if only I know how to appreciate it. TGIF!! & Tune in for more updates!!

Its been a bad weekend…Been trying to sleep my day away to forget the episode last nite but everytime, I wake up, tears swell up in my eyes…

I dunno why I felt so hurt about it. Neither do I know why I get so emotional about it. In any case, I have always told myself that its a matter of time - a matter of time when he would get tired, a matter of time when it would all come to an end. Maybe its really time??

Someone said…Astronauts in outer space never cry but I know this is not becoz they dun cry but rather their tears go against the law of gravity, so their tears never had the opportunity to fall.

Although it seems like a silly idea but it would be so nice if earth and outer space exist just side by side. If that was so, everytime we are happy, we could be on earth to share our happiness but when we are sad and feel like crying, we could just cross the border and be in outer space….so tears dun fall at all.

I wish I were in outer space now coz my tears never seem to listen to me. They go against me just like they go against the law of gravity in outer space. Someone hurt me tonite…but outer space is not beside me…. 

I am back from my one day Bintan Trip… Although its only a one day trip, its one of those memorable trips with my silly, crazy gal frens. Besides the 4 of us, we brought along our pets (Lumpy Ah Dang, Piggy & Sirotan), so that makes 8 of us in a room!! Well, but that also means we were all cuddled warmly together under the blanket at nite. Haa…no wonder Yvonne told Pearlynne Princess that there’s no need to bring along her jacket…:)

When we arrived in Bintan, it was already 1 pm and our room wasn’t ready but that does not stop us from starting our day rite. We selected a nice little spot on the beach for our sumptuous picnic…The food was good, the weather was good and the company was rite!! After our delicious meal, we checked into our hotel, showered and prepared to leave for another exciting evening ahead!! Yes yes!!! Our fireflies tour, relaxing massage and another big big seafood dinner…

The massge wasn’t so much to my liking cos it was a Javanese oil massage and my masseur used too much force on me, my head is still aching till today…haa..But I enjoyed the fireflies nite very much…The skies were so dark the stars were twinkling rite above us and it filled the skies completely, so much so that it seems like a big silver blanket above us. The fireflies lighted the trees which looks like many many X’mas trees sparkling in the dark. The night ended with our sparkling juice and chips…and soon we were all dozing off into our dreams…

The  morning was a short one even though we woke up at 7 am. After catching a few more shots, we were off for breakfast and its time to say adieus. I am really looking forward to another one of these trips!!  

I keep telling myself to look forward these days. Although there doesn’t seem to be very much to look forward to and the future seems bleak…but what could I do? I dun seem to be in control of whats happening. What I want and what the reality is seems to be so far apart. Is it really so difficult to achieve it or am I just not brave enough to pursue it??

I have been pondering over this for a few long nites and still unable to find any answer to it, yet I dun wanna live life like a zombie.  I have been feeling insecure these days and I hate this feeling…The more I feel it, the more I wanna run and hide in a corner but the world’s so huge, my legs get tired before they could bring me to the corners… 

My last post was in Jun 08 when I was in Oslo. Time really flies. Its been a month since I returned to Sg from Norway and I din reaslise it till yesterday when someone mentioned my blog. I am surprised he actually reads my blogs. Haa…

Jun 08 has been a quiet month. There isn’t much updates about my life really. The usual stuff goes on - work, meetings, gatherings, short trips, dinners, tuitions, etc. etc. I haven’t encountered much within the month either. Maybe as one grows older, life gets more boring and mundane but I know its wrong to think like that.

During my recent trip to Bangkok, I managed to read this book called “Tuesdays with Morrie”. Though I have not completed the book, the initial chapters gave me a lot of insights into life. It talked about a college professor who contracted ALS, a condition which to many of us, would be deem as nothing to look forward to in life except waiting for death. The difference was the professor was able to face death gracefully and positively, and precisely becoz he was dying, he decided to make a difference in people’s lives, despite his condition.

I was very motivated by this book. I think many of us are so contained in our own small and materialistic world that as we grow older and as we climb up the social ladder, we lose sight of what’s really important in our lives. I have to admit that I myself is falling into this trap but I hope its not too late to get out of it… Anyway, its a really good book. Frens out there, enjoy the book.

Oki. I gotta start work now. Will try to remember to update my blogs when I have time. I realised today is Tuesday but without Morrie for me…:)

I finally arrived in Oslo after a long tiring flight of at least 18 hours. Worst was the delay at London which delayed our arrival at Oslo. I am feeling quite stoned today. Its about 6:45 am here in Oslo (about 6 hours difference from Sg). I am suffering from jet lag, coupled with subconsciously trying to wake up early so that I could msn my missed ones, I din sleep well last nite.

We are going to catch another flight at 9:25 am up to the North in Alta today. Oki…I gotta leave soon. Took some photos of my room and the view of the airport from my room. Will update again.

I am flying off on Sunday and I insisted that my bunni comes with me. Although I dun mind being alone sometimes, I would still prefer to have somebody familiar with me in an entirely new environment. I am just so glad that my bag can fit my bunni in.

I am having mixed feelings about the coming trip. On one hand, it is a great opportunity to learn new things and be alone to deal with my feelings and think thru stuff that have been going on. On the other, I dread the long flight of more than 10 hours and the jet lag. At times, I would feel lonely and empty and wish that there could be a nice colleague with me whom I could talk and share but again, maybe nice colleagues dun come easy. DESTINY really plays a part in any part of our lives, I guess.

Anyway, I am glad I have my bunni with me. At least I know he wouldn’t argue, snatch my TV controller nor steal my food. He listens to me and is always there when I need someone. Ha Ha…

 Okie. Time to go to bed…Nitez Nitez.. 

I have a new bunni!! At this age, I still have a love for stuff toys. Haaa…My mum always say I am too old for toys but wat to do, I just have an inclination towards them. Bought this little bunni from Surfer’s Paradise Movie World…After the purchase, I realised that it has a little crooked head but I guess, nothing in this world is perfect coz the most beautiful things in life are its imperfections, so I shall just accept him for who he is.

I took a photo of him last night, so here’s sharing it with you people. Very tired now. Mind block…Can’t think anymore. Think I should just drop all the work and leave for home. 

Oki…Shall continue my blog tomorrow.  

Back from Aussie and trying to adjust to the hot and stuffy weather here. Its been a short trip but a 1 & 1/2 weeks away from work has made me lost my momentum…I am like the broken down car engine now, trying to get started but dunno where & how to start.

The photos we took at Aussie had all gone down the drain. The SD card encountered a card error and chances of recovering the photos seem to be slim.

Its a gloomy Sunday morning and here I am lazing at home, blogging out. I know its time to hit the gym since I have been pigging out for 2 full weeks but alas, I just cannot find the rite mood to go.

Its been 2 weeks after my wedding day…Many frens asked me how marriage life was…Mmm…seriously, there is no difference. Life goes on as per normal. Work, gatherings, household chores. If you asked me to describe it, I would say mundane, routine and unexiciting. Sometimes I asked myself if there was all that was to the word “LIFE” or have I been expecting too much??